Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 2

Neville:
Mox!

Moxey:
Hello, lads.

Neville:
Where the hell have you been?

Moxey:
I dossed down here last night.

Bomber:
You look bloody frozen! [Picks up Neville's jacket] Here, lad. [Throws the jacket over Moxey's shoulders]

Moxey:
Cheers, mate.

Wayne:
So what's the word, then, eh? I mean, I think you owe us an explanation, mate. [After running away after the sight of a police car the previous day]

Moxey:
Yeah... I've been in prison, see.

Oz:
We kna that, man, but that was yonks ago, wasn'it? It doesn't mean you have to shit yerself every time you see a police.

Moxey:
No, I mean I've been in recently. Like last week. An' I'm not due out 'til next March.

Neville:
What, you mean, you've went over the wall?

Moxey:
Well, it wasn't a closed nick. I was in an open prison in Cheshire. Wasn't as if I had to dig a tunnel or rent an helicopter. I just walked out the front door. Bought a Toblerone at the post office and got a bus to Macclesfield.

Neville:
Why?

Moxey:
I've got a mate there. He gave us a float and I made me way to Barry's.

Neville:
You must be mad, Mox.

Wayne:
Yeah, it's a bloody lunatic thing to do, Mox.

Bomber:
If it was an open prison, you must have been dealt with fairly lenient.

Moxey:
Oh I was. I'm not a Grade A villain! I just got done for the old trouble.

Neville:
What, arson?

Moxey:
Yeah. You see, with me, they know that it's a ps-ps-psychological defect, as opposed to a cr-criminal tendency.

Oz:
Ah, they also didn't want a prison burned to the ground, did they?

Wayne:
Yeah, but blimey, Mox, if it was an open prison, you must've had life pretty cushy, eh?

Moxey:
It's still stir, Wayne. It's still people tellin' you what to do an' when to do it! I had a year of it ahead of me.

Wayne:
Well, they'll have a bloody sight more when they nick you, mate.

Bomber:
Wayne's right. If you give yourself up, you'll be caned for your walkabout. But if you don't, and you get collared, you'll be looking at two years.

Moxey:
I'll take me chances.

Bomber:
Suit yourself. [Gets up to start work.]

Wayne:
I'll say no more.

Oz:
Aye, don't worry, Moxey. We'll look after yer.

Moxey:
I'm bloody frozen.

Neville:
Maybe we could light a fire, eh?

Moxey:
That's a good idea, that...

Wayne:
Er... no. No, not you, Moxey. I think I'll do it.