Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 2

Barry:
What's the score?

Moxey:
Five knockbacks. Everywhere we've tried had a sudden spate of bookings!

Oz:
Yeah, it's obvious the ol' Pringle's been on the blower. Looks like we've been blacklisted by the entire Licensed Victualler's Association of North Derbyshire!

Neville:
Ah, we've not done much better.

Oz:
Yeah?

Neville:
The places we've tried aren't exactly geared to the needs of the working man.

Barry:
Well... spa country this, ain't it, Nev, eh? Gentility rules.

Moxey:
So, what do we do now?

Barry:
Well, as Contingency Plans A and B seem to have failed, I suggest we try Contingency Plan D.

Oz:
Which is what?

Barry:
Find somewhere in Chesterfield.

Oz:
Chesterfield?! That's ganna mean a fifty mile round trip! Look, man, we're ganna be wrecked before we even get to work, which means we're ganna be more wrecked before we get on the drink!

Barry:
Which leaves Contingency Plan E.

Moxey:
What's that?

Oz:
Which is what?

Barry:
Move into the house itself.

Oz:
Aww, I divvn't know about that!

Barry:
It gets my vote, fellas! Listen, listen, it's cheap, right, it's big, and we'll have it all to ourselves, right.

Moxey:
Yeah, right! It gets my vote an' all! I stayed in the pantry one night and survived!

Neville:
Yeah, only just.

Oz:
Ah, it's pretty crusty though, isn'it, eh? It's in a hell of a state. Partly due to the fact that we've been knocking seven colours out of it, like. I mean, even the rats have pissed off!

Barry:
Look, um... I said we'd give Dennis a ring before eight. See what he says, eh?

Oz:
Aye, leave it to the leader.