Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 2

Howard:
[Upon seeing Fraser] Ally? [Turns off radio.] I didn't know you were in England

Fraser:
I had to come over, didn't I, Howard? Sort out the uprising.

Howard:
Oh dear... I hope there was no unpleasantness.

Fraser:
Oh no, more of a sort of skirmish, Howard. A lover's tiff, wouldn't you say, Dennis?

Dennis:
Aye, Big Baz and Bomber will have announced their engagement any minute I expect! [Fraser and Howard laugh]

Fraser:
[As he and Dennis sit on a sofa] Now then, Howard, you must have some malt whisky in this expensive looking office that I'm paying for?

Howard:
Coming right up...

Fraser:
Bring the bottle over. Dennis and I have got a bit of negotiating to do. [Howard does so.] That's it, shirtsleeve order. Beer and sandwiches at TUC headquarters.

Howard:
I've got a couple of sesame seed bars if you'd like.

Fraser:
Oh, no thank you.

Dennis:
No, save mine for the budgie's cage. [Howard sits down and starts pouring out the whisky.]

Fraser:
Right, now, item one on the agenda: as a result of the case put forcibly to me by Dennis and his brothers, I hereby agree to upgrade the ongoing conversion on Thornely Manor. Now, Howard, have you still got that medium-range budget on file, have you?

Howard:
Well, yes, but it means jumping up another 20 grand or so!

Fraser:
No, no, I can live with that. Dennis has persuaded me that it would be a great pity to skimp on a building of such architectural heritage, especially if there's gonna be a lot of old dears knocking it around soon. On that subject, just make a note on that pad there to increase the projected fee structure for the resident gentlefolk.

Dennis:
Passing the costs on already, Ally?

Fraser:
Oh, Dennis, if we're going to go upmarket, we can attract a better class of pensioner. If you look in the wills column in the Daily Torygraph, you'll see there's quite a few around with a package stashed away.

Howard:
[To Dennis] I'm amazed you got him to agree to this!

Dennis:
Right, well, beneath that flinty exterior beats a heart of gold, man.

Fraser:
Don't let it get around, Dennis.

Dennis:
He's also aware that if he hadn't changed his mind, the VAT people would have got an enormous tip-off about certain unpaid taxes on the building work.

Fraser:
Item two: I also hereby agree to waive my rights on the rent monies payable to me from Dennis and his boys after having squatted on my property for the past few weeks.

Dennis:
For heart of gold, read "nugget".

Fraser:
And as for my personal loan to Dennis: the terms of the debt remain the same. Complete the job on the Manor, and we're all square. And I think I can see a way to writing off the interest payable on the loan, which incidentally, Dennis, is currently running at £2,648, give or take a few coppers.

Dennis:
What's the catch?

Fraser:
No catch. An absolutely straightforward proposition as regards your boys. You keep them on the payroll for my next project, and we will be as sweet as a bun!