Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 2

Angela:
What were you and Auntie Norma rowing about last night?

Dennis:
I thought you were supposed to be asleep! Anyway, we weren't rowin', we were just talkin', y'know, business, like.

Angela:
Our Kevin had his ear to the floor, said you were shoutin' about money.

Dennis:
Nah, "shoutin' about money...?" [Before Dennis can continue, they stop as Dennis sees a flashily dressed woman approaching. It's Marjorie, Oz's estranged wife]

Marjorie:
[Waving as she approaches] Dennis Patterson?

Dennis:
Aww hell! [Turns away and bends down to Angela's shoe] I'll just put this buckle right on your shoe.

Angela:
What's up, dad? There's nothing wrong with me buckle.

Dennis:
Nah, it's all right, pet. It's just that lady over there, she happens to be the wife of one of the nutcases I work with. Remember Oz? I don't particularly want to talk to her, that's all.

Marjorie:
[As she gets closer] Yoo-hoo! [Dennis reluctantly gets up] Eee, I thought it was you!

Dennis:
Hello, Marjorie.

Marjorie:
[Turns to Angela] Oh, and this must be one of your bairns, is it?

Dennis:
Aye, this is Angela.

Majorie:
How's Vera?

Dennis:
Well, er... we've split up again, actually.

Marjorie:
Oh, pet... I'm sorry. E'en after you left some nice German lass...

Dennis:
[Interrupting to protect Angela] Aye, well, that's all in the past now, Marjorie, you know?

Marjorie:
Haven't heard from Oz, have yer?

Dennis:
No, not really. When did you last hear from him?

Marjorie:
Oh aye, he sent us a card from the Falklands - no stamp, of course! Aye, God knows where he is now.

Angela:
He came round...

Dennis:
[Interrupting, glancing at Angela] I did hear he's back in England, like.

Marjorie:
You've no idea where, have you?

Dennis:
Shouldn't you know more aboot that than me, Marjorie?

Marjorie:
I'd be the last one to hear, pet. No, anyway, if he does get in touch with you, will yer tell him to get in touch with me? I've got some good news for him.

Dennis:
Oh, that'll cheer him up... [Marjorie double takes, leading Dennis to cover his tracks] ...if I do... come across him, like. What's the good news?

Marjorie:
I'm divorcin' the sod!