Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 2

Oz:
[Sitting with his back to the stripper] Well... I'm sorry I'm not yer genial host tonight, lads. I mean, any other time I'd have been happy to... drag ya roond the flesh pots of the north east, yer kna, but... Oh, it's just this thing with me kid, I mean, it's weighin' heavy on us.

Wayne:
[Not taking his eyes off the stripper, as is Moxey] I'm sure it does, son.

Oz:
I mean, I kna what yer think. I kna what everybody thinks for that matter. You think that I'm irresponsible. A bit of a heid-the-baw. A bit of a...

Moxey:
Lunatic?

Oz:
Yeah, oh all right, Moxey! All right! Yer not always rowin' with all yer oars in the water yersel', yer kna!

Moxey:
No. Fair enough. Sorry, Oz.

Oz:
But I'm still 'is father, isn't I? He's still me kid. [Turns around for a second to the stripper, then turns back again.] You have to put yersel' in my place. Wayne, man! [Wayne finally turns to Oz] Put yersel' in my place, man, with this business with the kid, man. Because you're married, aren't you, eh? If your bird pissed off and left yer, how would that feel, eh, if she went back to Germany?

Wayne:
Who's been talking to you, then?

Oz:
[Confused] Naebody, man, I'm talkin hypothetically.

Wayne:
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Oz:
Well, I mean, can yer imagine if she had a sprog, eh, and she dragged him back to Düsseldorf? You'd never see it again. Can you imagine how that would feel?

Wayne:
[Quietly] Yeah, well, I can, as it happens...