Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 2

Dennis:
Yer do things on the spur of the moment, Oz, without ever thinking them through. I mean, where were you gonna take the lad, eh?

Oz:
Well I wasn't gonna hang on to him, man, I only wanted twenty four hours with him, to find out how he feels aboot this trip abroad, man. Find oot how he felt about this Sandro gadgy. And she wouldn't let us anywhere near the bairn, so I had to dae what I did, didn't I?

Bomber:
Well she'll be even less disposed to let you see him now.

Barry:
Ah, so you met the Italian in question, did you?

Oz:
Aye, yes, we exchanged one or two words, yes.

Brenda:
What sort of person did he seem then, Oz?

Oz:
Well, he seemed perfectly affable and pleasant and polite, but I mean ye cannae gan on that, can yer? He's a waiter, he's trained to be.

Wayne:
Oh come off it, Oz. You said in the car that he was a nice enough sort of bloke.

Oz:
Aye, but them were first impressions, weren't they? He's gotta be a bit micey if he wants to lob up with my Marjorie!

Brenda:
[Holding a couple of mugs] Shall I do another pot? [Everyone murmurs in agreement]

Neville:
I'll give you a hand.

Brenda:
No, I'll do it, pet. [Exits into the kitchen]

Dennis:
So, when do they leave, then?

Oz:
Eh? Er... Next week.

Barry:
If you ask me... just in my opinion, like... I think living in Italy might benefit the lad. I mean, he'd had the climate, when he comes back he'll be bilingual, a wonderful advantage. I only spent one night in this area and I'll tell you it was a bleeding terrifying experience!

Dennis:
Yer can't judge a place on one night, man!

Oz:
[Overlapping with Dennis] What's wrong with this place? We've all seen Wolverhampton, it's not exactly Beverly Hills, is it?