Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 2

Oz:
[Noticing him] Oh, look what's just crawled up against the bar.

Bomber:
Who's that? [Turns around]

Oz:
See 'im? That charva what cause all the bother at the disco the other night.

Neville:
What's this, like?

Bomber:
You reckon he's come lookin' for us, Oz?

Oz:
Ohh, suits me!

Dennis:
Ey, look, knock it on the head, right? We're all on a plane tomorrow, we don't want any bother.

Neville:
Listen, will somebody tell me what's gannin on? [The man approaches the table]

Oz:
[Standing up] What do you want? Eh? Have yer come lookin' for a showdoon? I'll gi' yer ten oot o' ten for bottle, son!

Martin:
I don't want any trouble. Anyway, I'm not lookin' for ye.

Oz:
Are yer not? Well, I suggest you piss off and find another watering hole, 'cos after a few more of them... [Picks up a bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale] ...I might just be tempted to pull the front end of yer face off!

Barry:
Why do yer have to be so belligerent, Oz?

Oz:
[To Barry] Look, man, if it wasn't for 'im, Moxey'd still be gannin to Spain!

Martin:
[Interrupting] I'm not lookin' for any trouble, eh? I'm lookin' for a bloke called Dennis Patterson.

Dennis:
[Now looking worried] That's me. Who are you?

Martin:
Martin Cooper. Mr. Fraser said you might be one short for that Spanish job.

Oz:
[Laughs loudly and derisively] He's not comin'!

Dennis:
[Getting up] It's alreet, I'll handle it.

Oz:
If he gans, I'll...

Dennis:
[To Oz] Shut up and sit down!

Oz:
Well he's not...

Dennis:
I'll handle it!

Oz:
Well he's not...

Dennis:
Shut up! [Oz finally takes the hint and sits down. Dennis approaches Martin] Look, if you've had some bother with these two lads, this isn't ganna work out now, is it?

Martin:
Why not?

Dennis:
Why not?! Because we're supposed to be a team, man! That's why not.

Martin:
I haven't got a problem. If they've got a problem, that's their problem, mate. I need that job, eh? I'll do me share. See yer at the airport. [Leaves the bar, glaring at the lads as he does. Dennis returns to the table, sighs, and reaches for his pint]

Barry:
Nothing ever seems to go smoothly for us lot, does it?