Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 2

Moxey:
Hey! Shall we have a go at that synchronised swimming? [Oz laughs] Get in the next team for the Olympics?

Oz:
That's bloody outrageous! That has to be the stupidest thing I've ever saw. All them tarts, covered in make-up, nose clips on, and it's supposed to be a bloody sport!

Moxey:
'Ey, come 'ead! Let's have a craic. Come on, let's form a circle.

Oz:
Ah well. You can be team leader. [The Oxlades run up the hill to their back garden, carrying their shopping with them.]

Moxey:
One, two, three... [The lads somersault, bottoms up! Geoffrey sees this.]

Geoffrey:
Good God! Pauline, don't come any further!

Pauline:
Who's in our pool?

Geoffrey:
[Putting the box down] I'll take care of this.

Oz:
Did we make the team? [The lads all laugh. Geoffrey approaches the pool.]

Geoffrey:
Hey! You lot!

Dennis:
[Swims up to the steps] Good morning!

Geoffrey:
[Furious] Never mind good morning! Can you explain who you are and what you're doing here?

Dennis:
[To the others] Hold it. Shut up, man! [To Geoffrey, as he gets out of the pool, hiding his modesty] We're er... we're waiting for Mr. Fraser.

Geoffrey:
Who?

Dennis:
Er... [Shouts at the others] Shut up, man, will you? Keep it down! [To Geoffrey] Is this not his villa?

Geoffrey:
No, it is not! It is mine. [Pauline approaches the pool as Oz gets out.]

Pauline:
[Shocked] Geoffrey, they're all naked!

Oz:
Well, it's not customary to wear a morning suit when you gan for a swim, missus.

Geoffrey:
If you're not out of here immediately, I shall call the Guardia Civil.

Dennis:
Now, look, pal, this has been.. this has been a legitimate mistake, yer kna. There's no need to go over the top. I mean, we're all Brits here.

Geoffrey:
You're the type of Britisher that caused my wife and I to retire here in the first place! [Geoffrey storms off.]