Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 2

Fraser:
Look, Vicky, when we've got these cowboys around the place, it might look better if you didn't go around flaunting yourself.

Vicky:
[Looks down at her bikini-clad body] Who's flaunting?

Fraser:
D'ya think that bikini's the height of discretion? I used to use bigger plasters to cover my pimples.

Vicky:
Yes, well, you don't complain as a rule, do you? [Reclines on the sofa]

Fraser:
Well, as a rule, I don't have seven randy brickies running around the patio!

Vicky:
Well, there's going to be no point in going out is there? I mean, I cannae sunbathe, I cannae go for a swim 'cos there's nae water in the pool, I cannae play me records 'cos I cannae hear them for the concrete mixer...

Fraser:
Are the arrangements not to your liking, Vicky?

Vicky:
I'm just saying...

Fraser:
Is the villa no longer up to scratch? May I just remind you that two years ago, when you were a manicurist at Maison André, your idea of the holiday of a lifetime was a fortnight at Redcar!

Vicky:
Listen, I travelled before I met you, Ally Fraser. Me and me friend Barbara had two successive summers in Magaluf.

Fraser:
Och, well, in that case... In that case... [Picks up the phone and hands it to Vicky] Why don't you just give Barbara a bell? See if she's still got the tent!