Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 2

Fraser:
I'm gonna be away for a few days, Dennis, so I'm leaving you some signed cheques to take care of those unpaid bills that you mentioned.

Dennis:
Oh, you still trust us then, do yer?

Fraser:
Oh, I'd like to use your nuts for golf balls, Dennis, but yes, I still trust you. [Signs the cheques]

Dennis:
Aye, well there'll be no crap lyin' around when you get back. We'll clean up the entire area.

Fraser:
Oh, you're nothing if not thorough. Now, about your lads' recompensation...

Dennis:
That's all reet. I'll handle that.

Fraser:
Oh?

Dennis:
That money of yours I'm holdin'. I'll pay 'em out of that. Salary, overtime, bonuses as agreed. I'll post you an itemised statement accounting for every penny.

Fraser:
And the balance. The balance of my money.

Dennis:
Where would you like it?

Fraser:
Oh, it's that simple, is it?

Dennis:
Yeah. I've got it, you want it. I await your instructions. [Heads off to go back to work, but stops.] Oh... By the way, I'll be holding back about three grand.

Fraser:
Ah, that's your wee bonus, is it?

Dennis:
No, that's the approximate cost of six air tickets back here, plus bed and board.

Fraser:
Sorry, Dennis, I don't follow you there.

Dennis:
Ah, well you will in a minute. Just supposin' I'm leavin' the pub one dark night and two of your boneheads decide to take me round the back, right? Or supposing... somebody puts a brick through me ex-wife's window, or puts the frighteners on me girlfriend... or me kids. I'm ganna need that cash, aren't I? So, me an' the lads, we can come back here, take apart everything we've built for you, and then after that... take you apart.

Fraser:
[Lost for words] Oh, Dennis... you know, a bloke like you could've had a job with me for life.