Better Call Saul, Season 1

[Jimmy attempts to convince Tuco to spare the skateboarders]

Jimmy:
Think about their mother.

Tuco:
[pause; spits on the ground] I SPIT ON THEIR MAMA!

Jimmy:
She is a sweet little lady. She—she’s a widow. She works hard all day, every day—just like her mother before her—from dawn til dusk! Scrubbing the floors of rich people. She needs a cane to walk, you know? She’s got arthritis, and still she works every day. What, for herself? No! No, for them! For these two! They’re her boys, they’re the apples of her eye. You say they don’t deserve her? [shrugs] Maybe so. But... they’re all she’s got. Now... you turn them inside out, I want you to think about what happens to her.

Tuco:
No, [points at the twins with his knife] that’s on them. They should’ve thought about that.

Jimmy:
But when I was at your abuelita’s place, you were gonna let them go. Way I see it, that’s because you’re tough, but you’re fair. You’re all about justice.

Tuco:
That’s what I am saying. Justice.

Jimmy:
These–these two shit-for-brains? These two big-mouths? You–you already beat the living hell out of them. Do you think they’re ever gonna forget today? Never! Ten years from now, they’re still gonna be crapping their jockeys.

Tuco:
It’s not enough.

Jimmy:
Okay, okay. Then let’s talk proportionality. They’re guilty–Oh, agreed. Now you have to decide what’s the right sentence?

Tuco:
Like a judge.

Jimmy:
Like a judge. Ever heard of the Code of Hammurabi? Let the punishment fit the crime, eye for an eye?

Tuco:
Eye for an eye. You want me to blind them.

Jimmy:
No, no. All they did was trash-talk.

Tuco:
So, I cut their tongues out!

Jimmy:
Wait. See, I’m advising that you make the punishment fit the crime.

Tuco:
Punishment fit the crime. Columbian neckties. I cut their throats, and then I PULL THEIR LYING TONGUES THROUGH THE SLITS! BIZNATCH!!

Jimmy:
Or you–you could give them black eyes.

Tuco:
Black eyes? [laughs] That ain’t nothing!

No Doze:
That one there, homes. He already got a black eye, fool.

Tuco:
[turns to No Doze] Stop. Helping.

Jimmy:
Or you could sprain their ankles.

Tuco:
Sprain?

Jimmy:
They’re–they’re skateboarders, right? That–that’s how they run their scam. They can’t skate. You–you hit them where they live.

Tuco:
I ain’t spraining nothing, bitch. I’m gonna break their arms. And I’m gonna break their legs.

Jimmy:
Arms? When–when did we get on to arms? Let's...

Tuco:
I’m cutting their legs off.

Jimmy:
But–we could go that way. But… we were talking about breaking. I think we’re heading the wrong direction.

Tuco:
Okay. Break their legs.

Jimmy:
How many legs?

Tuco:
Two. They got two legs.

Jimmy:
One leg. Each.

Tuco:
One leg each?

Jimmy:
They’re... One leg each, that’s a total of two legs. Uh, hey, look. They can’t skateboard for six months, and they are scared of you forever. You show everybody that you are the man, but that you’re fair! That you’re just!

[Tuco rolls his sleeves up like he's about to beat Jimmy up, then holds out his right hand]

Tuco:
One leg each.

Jimmy:
[looks at the twins, then shakes Tuco's hand] That's tough, but that's fair.

Tuco:
[to Gonzo and No Doze] Alright, lay them out! I ain’t got all day! It’s hot as shit out here!

[Tuco proceeds to break the skateboarders’ legs]