Better Call Saul, Season 1

Mrs. Strauss:
Now, where were we? Would you like some more tea?

Jimmy:
No, no thank you. I'm—I'm fine. Now, the shepherd boy Hummel, that's gonna go to your nephew Clarence?

Mrs. Strauss:
As long as he finishes college. If he drops out, it goes to my niece, Raylene, but then Raylene doesn't get the girl—

Jimmy:
The girl with the geese, I know. Then that would go to your cousin Helen, so long as she never remarries Frederick?

Mrs. Strauss:
Exactly.

Jimmy:
Yeah.

Mrs. Strauss:
And no matter what, I want the towheaded twins to go to Reverend Lawrence's grandson.

Jimmy:
Um, don't you mean Reverend Haines? 'Cause Reverend Lawrence's grandson is going to get the, uh, lute-playing angel because he was in the choir.

Mrs. Strauss:
Very sharp, Mr. McGill... and here I thought all lawyers were idiots.

Jimmy:
Hah, no, only half of us are idiots. The other half are crooks!

Mrs. Strauss:
[both laugh] Aren't you a spicy one!

Jimmy:
Well...

Mrs. Strauss:
If I were 40 years younger, I'd have you buy me a piña colada.

Jimmy:
Well, if you want me to draw up a DNR, I'll bring a blender and some pineapple.

Mrs. Strauss:
I knew I'd like you when I saw how you saved that poor man on the television. Moxie is in such short supply these days.

Jimmy:
Yeah, well, I pride myself on my moxie. Now, I hate to do this, but I do need to bring up my payment. Um, and I'm sorry, but I can't accept S&H Green Stamps, heh. Now, my fee is $140.

Mrs. Strauss:
A hundred and forty?

Jimmy:
I'll gladly accept seventy today and seventy when I come back with the completed documents-

[Mrs. Strauss immediately pulls out the $140]

Mrs. Strauss:
Shall we continue, Mr. McGill?

Jimmy:
Yes. Yes, we shall, Mrs. Strauss!