Better Call Saul, Season 1

[Jimmy enters the Kettleman residence]

Jimmy:
[looking around] Oh, I love what you've done with the place. Last time I was here, it was, uh... Well, not a contender for the cover of Good Housekeeping, that's for sure.

Betsy:
[chuckling] Do you have news about our case?

Jimmy:
I do, in fact. But before we get to the nitty-gritty, I think we should chat about your deal.

Betsy:
Uh, we told you, there will be no deal.

Jimmy:
You did, didn't you? However, circumstances have changed.

Betsy:
What circumstances?

Jimmy:
To answer that, um... might I suggest that you go and check on that money you insist you "didn't" take?

[Betsy laughs incredulously]

Jimmy:
In the upstairs bathroom, under the sink?

Craig:
Wait, how could you...?

[The truth dawns on Betsy first, and she leaps up and hurries up the stairs in a panic, cutting him off. Craig follows her up, while Jimmy waits patiently in the living room.]

Craig:
Betsy?

[There is the sound of clattering and rummaging upstairs]

Betsy:
No, no no no no no no!

Craig:
It's okay, Betsy. It's gotta be... it's gotta be in there somewhere.

[Betsy comes out of the bathroom and addresses Jimmy from upstairs]

Betsy:
What did you do with it?!

Jimmy:
By "it", you mean...?

Betsy:
[As she and Craig make their way downstairs] Where is it?!

Jimmy:
Oh! You mean the money? Uh, let me see. It's uh... [checks his watch] on its way to the D.A.'s desk, right about now.

Betsy:
What!? You...!? Oh, you thief!

Jimmy:
It takes one to know one, doesn't it?

Craig:
You took it? How did you take it?

Jimmy:
A good magician never reveals his tricks. Now here's what we're gonna do—

Betsy:
Oh, you don't tell us what to do. You stole from us. We... We will have you arrested!

Jimmy:
Uh, I can see how upset you are, and even on a good day, you and logic are... [places two fingers together and separates them with a whistling sound] But think about what you just said. Criminals have no recourse. And you two? You're criminals. Big time.

Betsy:
How dare you.

Jimmy:
Luckily, you have a very talented lawyer, who has found a way to minimize the damage you've brought upon yourselves.

Betsy:
Oh, you're fired!

Jimmy:
Oh, I quit already. No, I'm talking about Kim Wexler. Now, you're gonna go back to her, you're gonna apologize for your hasty decision to terminate her services, and you're gonna fall on her mercy and take that deal.

Betsy:
We'll tell about the bribe you took.

Jimmy:
You could do that. You absolutely could, and I'd be in a mess of trouble, a real pickle...

[Betsy smiles smugly, thinking she's got him]

Jimmy:
...But so would you, Mrs. Kettleman. Because right now, only Mr. Kettleman is on the hook, for the whole embezzlement kerfluffle. But the bribe – we're back to calling it a bribe? Yeah, that implicates you as well.

Craig:
It does not. It was all me.

Jimmy:
No, it wasn't. I'll make sure everyone knows that. Look on the bright side, you know? They could work out some kind of inter-prison visitation program, the occasional conjugal. Maybe it won't be all bad. [to Betsy] You, you'll probably wind up running your own gang. [He looks up at both of them, becoming somewhat solemn] Thing you folks need to know about me? I got nothing to lose. Christ, you should see my office.