Better Call Saul, Season 1

Sobchak:
So, what you packing?

Mike:
A pimento.

Sobchak:
Sorry, what?

Mike:
Pimento sandwich.

Sobchak:
[laughs] That's funny. Pimento. No, I mean, what are you carrying? You know, the piece? What's the make?

Mike:
Pimento is a cheese. They call it the caviar of the South.

Sobchak:
You don't want to tell me what you're carrying, so be it. But you don't have to be a douche about it.

Mike:
Just told you what I'm carrying.

Sobchak:
So you're saying you don't have a gun? Is that what you're saying? How are you here without a gun? [to Man Mountain] You have a gun?

Man Mountain:
Yeah.

Sobchak:
Yeah, of course. He's got a gun. I got at least two guns on me that I'll tell you about. I go old school with a Wilson Combat 1911, I got a Glock-22 Gen-3, and those are just the ones I'll tell you about.

Mike:
Mmm.

Sobchak:
I mean, what the hell, really? How do you not pack a gun?

[Their client pulls up in front of them]

Pryce:
Hi. Hello. My name is Pryce. Um, actually, that's not my name, but uh, I have a nephew named Pryce; I've always kind of liked that name. Anyway, we're not dealing with names today. You can tell me or not tell me yours... or a fake one is fine. If I need to talk to you, I'd prefer something other than "Hey, you". Either way, you all come highly recommended, so thank you. First order of business: we have a long drive ahead of us. I have a cooler of water in the car, some soft drinks. I don't drink coffee, but there is a diner on the corner, also, a bathroom in case you need to go before, uh, we go. Second order: money. Just to be clear that the agreed-upon fee of $500 per man is... agreed-upon. Uh, if that's acceptable-

Sobchak:
Yeah, I have a thought.

Pryce:
Y-yeah?

Sobchak:
How about you give me and Man Mountain 750 each, and send Uncle Fester there home? He's not carrying a gun, he's useless.

Pryce:
[to Mike] Is that true? Y-you didn't bring a gun?

Mike:
I didn't think I'd need one.

Sobchak:
[snickers] It's a protection job. It's basic common sense that you need a gun to protect your employer. I mean, duh! You're dead weight. He'd just a third wheel without a piece-

Mike:
I'll tell you what: if I need a gun, I'll use one of his.

Sobchak:
Really, one of my guns? How do you picture that happening, exactly?

Mike:
Well, I guess I'm gonna take it from you.

Sobchak:
That–that is just special. Ohhh, "take". How are you gonna "take" one of my guns? [steps up to Mike] Come on, Billy Jackoff. "Take" my gun from me. Let me see it. [holds out a gun toward Mike] Here, I'll make it easy on ya.

Mike:
[turns to face him] You can make it not so easy.

Sobchak:
Sure thing. [points the gun at Mike's head] You got it. [Mike grabs the gun from his hand and unloads it] What the-? Son of a-!

[Sobchak lunges towards Mike. Mike whips him in the throat. When Sobchak collapses, Mike leans over him]

Mike:
Okay, let's see what you got. [pulls out a pistol] Yeah, yeah, yeah. A guy like you... I'll bet you have an ankle hostler, wouldn't you? [pulls a gun from Sobchak's ankle holster] You know, that's cute. What else? [flips Sobchak on his side and pulls a large gun from his jacket] Wow. Now, that's impressive. So many guns, I don't know which one to use. [to Man Mountain] How about you, you want one? [Man Mountain runs off] Alright. [throws the guns away in a trash can and grabs his sandwich]

Pryce:
But we need three guys!

Mike:
No, no we don't. Come on, let's go. [Mike gets into Pryce's car and see him looking at Sobchak] Oh, he'll be fine. And now that I'm doing the job alone, I get the full $1,500. We agree upon that?