Bottom, Series 1

Richie:
: What kind do you want?

Eddie:
: Rubber ones.

Richie:
: Yeah, bug there's ribbed, the tickler, and ultrasensitive.

Eddie:
: Ripped? Who's going to want a ripped condom?

Richie:
: Must be for people who want to get pregnant. Well I don't think ultrasensitive is our style, do you? The tickler it is. Oh, what colour?

Eddie:
: What have they got?

Richie:
: There's black, gold, union jack and leopard skin. Which do you think's the most romantic?

Eddie:
: Well union jack, obviously!

Richie:
: Right, a union jack tickler it is. Oh, what flavour?

Eddie:
: Flavour?

Richie:
: Yeah, there's chocolate, strawberry, marmite and cheese and onion.

Eddie:
: Well everyone likes cheese and onion, don't they?

Richie:
: Of course they do. A cheese and onion union jack tickler it is. Bagsy me first go with it.

Eddie:
: ...No, no, get two.