Bottom, Series 1

Eddie:
"Dear Eddie, by the time you read this I will be dead. I know you'll be feeling terribly guilty but don't blame yourself, although it really is your fault. If I was alive I would forgive you, but I'm not, so I can't, so you'll just have to live with it. Richard." (Fighting back tears) Poor blighter! All he needed was the love of a good woman. Well not even a good one, any old one would have done; slap a wig on a 'Speak your Weight' machine, he'd have been happy. And now he's gone and done himself in! [Plays some keys on Richie's electric organ] Well this ought to fetch a few quid.