Bottom, Series 1

Eddie:
Well I can't go, everyone will think that I'm Sean Connery.

Richie:
You don't look a bit like Sean Connery.

Eddie [as Michael Caine]:
Hello, my name's James Bond. Not a lot of people know that.

Richie:
I don't know, maybe death would be a blessed relief.

Eddie:
[still as Michael Caine] Zulus, thousands of them. Wait till you see the whites of their eyes lads! [pause] They would have won if they'd kept their eyes closed. Not a lot of people know that.