Bottom, Series 3

Richie:
You dropped it!

Eddie:
Yeah, well i was being run over by the riot squad!

Richie:
Well, two wrongs dont make a right, young man. Just because you're being run over doesn't mean you have to smash a television set! I could of been watching Sophie Grigson peeling a banana (Mimics peeling a banana), or washing a cucumber (Mimics washing a cucumber), or anything!

Eddie:
She's married.

Richie:
I know. To the wrong bloke!

Eddie:
Still, at least we got the duck.

(Holds up a rubber duck)

Richie:
The duck?

Eddie:
Yeah, it's made out of plastic!

Richie:
Eddie, what in the name of Greek buggery is the use of a plastic duck?

Eddie:
It floats in the bath. [Puts duck in Richie's face] Hello!

Richie:
Why?

Eddie:
It's hollow!

Richie:
[exasperated] Why the duck?!

Eddie:
It came free with the telly.

Richie:
Eddie everything came free with the telly, we were looting! Why didn't you get a free telly with the telly?!

Eddie:
Well, then it would sink in the bath!