Bottom

Eddie:
A-ha! [hangs up the phone]

Richie:
Well Eddie, what's the rollover Jackpot figure for this week?

Eddie:
One pound.

Richie:
ONE BLODDY PPppppp... pound?

Eddie:
Yes, you see the flaw in our fiendish masterplan was that being the only people who read, or have ever read, the Hammersmith Bugle, we were of course the only people who bought a f***ing Lottery ticket(!)

Richie:
One pound?

Eddie:
...ish. Yeah, you see after admin costs and a "donation to charity", we actually come out with 5p. And we've just spent 10p on the phonecall finding that out.

Richie:
So having won, we're now 5 pence down on the deal?

Eddie:
That's correct, yes. Well done.

Richie:
Well, it's a result Eddie!

Eddie:
Yes! Yes! Yes, it's... it's a crap result!