BoJack Horseman, Season 1

Tom Jumbo-Grumbo:
[live on MSNBSea] Our guest via satellite is Neal McBeal, a naval officer on leave from Afghanistan. Welcome to the program, Neal.

Neal McBeal:
Thank you, Tom.

BoJack:
Hey! I met this guy!

Tom:
All Neal wanted when he got home, and I emphasize—from Afghanistan—was his favorite brand of breakfast muffins. But when he went to the supermarket and called dibs on the last box... Well, tell us what happened, Neal.

Neal:
BoJack Horseman, from the '90s sitcom Horsin' Around, refused to respect my dibs.

Tom:
Have you no shame, BoJack Horseman?! Seen here sneezing at a Christmas party?

BoJack:
Oh, not the sneezing pic— Why do they always use the sneezing picture?!

Tom:
In the '90s, we laughed at your antics. Oh, how we laughed. "Ha ha ha," we chortled in rapturous glee. But when you deny the dibs called by our men and women on the frontlines, that is a sick joke, sir. A sick, sick joke indeed. And you'll forgive me if I chortle no longer—for, to me, there is nothing the least bit funny about stealing a meal from Neal McBeal, the Navy SEAL. [blows out water]

Todd:
Wait, wait, you stole muffins from a Navy SEAL?

BoJack:
I didn't know he was a Navy SEAL! I just thought he was a regular kind of seal.

Neal:
This is classic Hollywood elitism. BoJack Horseman thinks that because he was on TV, that makes him better than everybody. Well, guess what, BoJack! Now I'm on TV! So now I'm better than everybody!

Tom:
That's right, Neal!

BoJack:
You didn't even have dibs! You stupid sea cow!