Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Season 1

Jake:
So you dragged us over here, pretended to talk, and then snuck out the basement. Am I right?

Doug Judy:
The basement connected to another basement! Which connected to a garage! Which is where my boy picked me up!

Jake:
Your boy? Oh, that guy from the meetup. He works for you. He pretended to be spooked by me and Diaz in the parking lot to be sure we let you go to the next meeting by yourself.

Doug Judy:
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! You win a teddy bear!

Jake:
You lied to me, Doug Judy. I gotta be honest, I'm pretty disappointed right now. I mean, was that even really your mom?

Doug Judy:
Hell yeah, that was my real mom. I wanted to see her one last time before I disappeared. I told you I was sensitive, Rosa!

Diaz:
Yeah, you did. Why don't you come back here and take me out to dinner?

Doug Judy:
Ah... I know you're trying to trap me! But crazy thing is, I'm tempted! That's how hot I find you. Sorry it had to go down this way, Peralta. Maybe we could've been friends in another world. If I hadn't just fooled ya, like a little bitch! [Throws his listening wire out of the Firebird] Ha ha! Bitch!