Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Season 3

Amy Santiago:
[As Jake approaches their desk] Oh, come here, come here, come here! You need to see this! I'm about to give Captain Holt his gift.

Jake Peralta:
Oh? Did he lift his no gift policy?

Amy:
No, he didn't, but I figured out a way to buy him something and trick him into accepting it.

Jake:
You are bad.

Amy:
I know, right! Oh, wait, you're making fun of me.

Jake:
Mm-hmm

Amy:
Well, I don't care. He would never open a gift, right? But, what if his gift didn't look like a gift?

Jake:
He would open it?

Amy:
Exactly! I left it in a cardboard box on his desk. There's no card, just the words "Open Now" which I wrote with my wrong hand, so he wouldn't recognise my handwriting! [Holt passes them] Captain!

Raymond Holt:
Santiago. Peralta.

Jake:
Sir... So, just to recap, you left an unmarked package on a police captain's desk, on a random Monday with a suspicious message written on it that looked like it was scrawled by a crazy person?

Amy:
Mm-hmm

Holt:
[exiting his office quickly] Bomb! There's a bomb! Everyone out! [There is mass panic as everyone rushes for the exit. Rosa presses an alarm] Let's go, let's go! This is not a drill! Let's go!

Jake:
[sarcastically, to an aghast Amy] Great gift, babe!