Community, Season 1

Abed Nadir:
I'm only half arab actually, my dad is Palestinian but he's a US citizen so he's not a threat to national security or anything, a lot of people want to know that after they meet him because he has an angry energy, but not like angry at America, just angry at my mom for leaving him, although she did leave him because he was angry and he was angry because she's American, my name's Abed by the way.

Jeff Winger:
Abed, uhhh, nice to know you and then meet you, in that order. Now, about that question that I asked?

Abed:
Oh, uhh, five after eleven when you asked.

Jeff:
[spots Britta Perry in the distance] Abed.

Abed:
Yeah.

Jeff:
What's the deal with the hot girl from Spanish class? I can't find a road in there.

Abed:
Well, I've only talked to her once while she was borrowing a pencil, but...her name is Britta, she's 28, birthday in October, she has two older brothers and one of them works with children who have a disorder I might wanna look up. Oh, and she thinks she's going to flunk tomorrow's test so she really needs to focus and she's sorry that makes her seem cold.

Jeff:
Holy crap. Abed, I see your value now. [walks away]

Abed:
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.