Everybody Hates Chris, Season 3

Tasha:
I don't think you're supposed to have your feet on the table.

Chris:
Ain't nobody ask you.

Maître D':
Young man, I'm gonna have to ask you to take your feet off the table.

Chris:
What if I don't feel like it?

Maître D':
Then I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

Chris:
[stands up] What if I don't feel like doing that, either?

Maître D':
You're with the Employee of the Month, aren't you?

[Chris argues with the Maître D', offscreen]

Rochelle:
What is goin' on over there?

Julius:
Is that Chris?

Rochelle:
[outraged] What?

[Chris yells at Maître D' in slow-mo, with "Everybody Plays the Fool" playing in the background]

[Normal speed]

Rochelle:
[yells] CHRIS!

Chris:
[angrily] WHAT?!

[heartbeat thumps as Rochelle gets furious at Chris, who is shocked with an "Oh, crap!" look on his face. Scene cuts to hospital.]

Rochelle:
Hey, baby.

Chris:
[weakly] Ma?

Doctor:
How's everything going in here?

Rochelle:
Doctor, is he going to be okay?

Doctor:
[about the X-ray of Rochelle's shoe stuck in Chris' butt] Well, I think we'll be able to get it out, but you won't be able to wear that shoe again. Hang in there, big guy.

Rochelle:
How you feeling, sweetie?

Chris:
Not too good.

Rochelle:
Well, why were you acting like that?

Chris:
Just trying to impress Tasha.

Rochelle:
[confused] By acting like an idiot?

Chris:
No. She said she liked bad boys, like Flavor Flav. Trying to act like him.

Narrator:
Without the money.

Rochelle:
Baby, you can only be who you are. If she doesn't want you, then you don't want her.

Narrator:
That day, I learned the most important lesson in life: Be yourself, or get a pump in your ass.

Rochelle:
Mommy's gonna get you some ice chips, okay?

Narrator:
Better get a shoehorn, too.

Rochelle:
[to Tasha] Hi, sweetie.

Tasha:
[to Rochelle] Hi. [to Chris] Hey, Chris.

Chris:
Tasha?

Tasha:
Yeah. Are you okay?

Chris:
Yeah, I'll be fine. I just wanted to apologize for acting like such an idiot. Forgive me?

Tasha:
Yeah, it's okay. That's what friends are for.

Narrator:
Thanks, Dionne Warwick.

Tasha:
[seeing Chris' X-Ray.] Is this your X-ray?

Chris:
Yeah.

Tasha:
Boy, you so crazy.

Narrator:
Crazy like a boy with a shoe up his butt.

[Chris cries in pain]