Family Guy, Season 12

Peter:
All right, Quagmire, I have given this a lot of thought. I need you to shoot me in the arm and we can be friends again.

Quagmire:
Okay.

Peter:
[after realizing what he just told Quagmire] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! No, no, I was supposed to offer, and then you were supposed to say, "No, Peter, I'm not gonna shoot you, although I do appreciate the gesture."

Quagmire:
You better hand me the gun, Peter.

Peter:
I, erm...I passed the test?

Quagmire:
No, Peter. I'm gonna shoot you like a dirty animal.

Peter:
But, but just the fact that I would make the offer is so meaningful to you...

Quagmire:
Your offer means nothing, Peter. The only thing that means anything to me is a bullet in your arm. Now give me that!

Peter:
Stop! Stop! Quagmire, let go!

Quagmire:
Come on! You're not leaving here without being shot!

Peter:
Look, I was trying to do the decent thing, like you'd see in a movie!

Quagmire:
I'm putting that bullet in your arm, Peter!

Peter:
Ah! Son of a bitch!

Joe:
It's over. We're all friends again.

Peter:
What the hell, Joe?!

Joe:
I'm just trying to settle this nonsense.

Quagmire:
Nothing got settled!