Firefly

Kaylee:
You couldn't possibly!

Simon:
No, I wish I was lying, I just...You know, we'd all just made surgeon. That was it, we were the elite. The world was ours, you know?

Kaylee:
So you had to be naked?

Simon:
Naked. Yes. And, uh, on top of the statue of Hippocrates. (they laugh) Can't you just picture me?

Kaylee:
What, naked? Oh, well, hmm, mmm...Let's see, I'mma have to conjure up a...yeah, that's, that's gonna be difficult...(laughs and pokes him in the cheek with her foot) So did the feds come?

Simon:
There were no feds. (grins) Until I started singing.

Kaylee:
Oh, no! (cracks up)

Simon:
This is not--

Kaylee:
What did you sing?

Simon:
This is not funny. This, this is a morality tale about the evils of sake.

(they laugh, then turn and look at River)

Simon (in River's head):
I would be there right now.

(back to reality, Simon and Kaylee are still laughing, having not really noticed River)

Simon:
I really miss...It was, it was either that or the national anthem. I, reports vary...

Kaylee:
You don't remember any of this?

Simon:
I remember talking the feds out of telling my father. Or, or paying the feds out of telling my father. I get fuzzy on the aspect...

...

Jayne:
So like, never?

Book:
Well, no.

Jayne:
Not ever ever?

Book:
Some orders allow shepherds to marry, but I follow a narrower path.

Jayne:
But you still got the urge? They don't...cut it off or nothin'?

Book:
No, I'm more or less intact. I just...direct my energy elsewhere.

Jayne:
You mean like masturbatin'?

Book:
I hope you're not thinking of taking orders yourself?

Jayne:
Heheh, yeah, that's be the day.

Jayne (in River's head):
I got stupid, the money was too good.

Book (in River's head):
I don't give half a hump if you're innocent or not. So where does that put you?

(back to reality, Jayne and Book are laughing)

Jayne:
Saint Jayne, got a ring to it!

Book:
I'm just trying to remember how many miracles you've performed.

Jayne:
I once hit a guy in the neck from five hundred yards with a bent scope, don't that count upstairs?

Book:
Oh, it'll be taken into consideration.

Jayne:
You made that sound kinda ominous.

...

Mal:
You know, the only thing you're gonna find in New Melborne is fish and fish-related activities, so unless you got the overwhelming urge to gut sturgeon--and who hasn't, occasionally--

Inara:
But it's a layover point for almost every planet this side of the system. I could--I just don't want to draw this out.

Mal:
Have you decided when you're gonna tell the others?

Inara:
I...No. I appreciate your not saying anything.

Mal:
Well, I don't. So make up your mind.

Inara (in River's head):
I'm a big girl, just tell me.

Mal (in River's head):
None of it means a damn thing.

...

[River bends down to look at a bent branch on the leaf-strewn cargo bay floor and picks it up]

River:
It's just an object. It doesn't mean what you think.

...

[River comes out of a vision to find herself holding a gun, which Mal takes from her.]

Mal:
Fully loaded, safety off. This here is a recipe for unpleasantness. [to Simon] Does she understand that?

River:
She understands. She doesn't comprehend.

Mal:
Well, I'm glad we've made that distinction.