Futurama, Season 3

Fry:
I'm Santa Claus!

Hermes:
No, I'm Santa Claus!

Amy:
We're also Santa Claus!

Dr. Zoidberg:
[with a heavenly aura around him] And I'm his friend, Jesus.

Fry:
Your Mayor-ness, if you execute him, you have to execute all of us.

Poopenmeyer:
You people aren't Santa. You're not even robots! Ninety-one. How dare you lie in front of Jesus! [The display shows "00"] Hey! Zero! [He throws the switch and sends the electricity through the electromagnets. Bender's arms and legs are pulled to them]

Bender:
No! Not the magnets! [His eyes widen. singing] Swing low, sweet chariot, coming for to carry me home. [The witnesses applaud] Swing low, sweet...

Fry:
This is horrible.

Prof. Farnsworth:
But it's not boring!

[Santa's sleigh crashes through the wall, knocking off one of the electromagnets]

Santa:
Ho, ho, ho! [He shoots the other electromagnet off the wall. Everyone scatters except for Fry, Leela, Bender and Poopenmeyer. Fry and Leela dive behind some rubble]

Poopenmeyer:
My God! The real Santa! Get him, Jesus!

Zoidberg:
I help those who help themselves.

[Santa shoots at him and he runs out. The sleigh lands]

Bender:
Santa! You saved my life. Please don't kill me!

Santa:
[laughs] I'm not here to kill you, Bender! I need you to help me save Xmas.

Bender:
Gee whiz, Santa! You want me to help you?

Fry:
Don't do it! He's evil!

Santa:
I know he is but I have no choice. I'm running late and if I don't complete my brutal rampage, well, it just wouldn't be Xmas. I guess what I'm asking is: Bender, won't you join my slaying tonight?

Bender:
Well ... 'tis the season!

[Santa pulls him out of his restraints and puts him in the sleigh. He climbs in and the sleigh flies off]