Green Wing

Sue White:
Well what can I do for you this time, Dr. Statham?

Alan Statham:
I'd like a new badge please.

Sue White:
May I ask what happened to the old one?

Alan Statham:
I've still got it. I'm afraid to report it's been vandalised by some b-bloody bastards!

Sue White:
In what way?

Alan Statham:
Rather not talk about it.

Sue White:
Well if you don't, I can't order you a new one.

Alan Statham:
And where does it say that in the regulations?

[Sue picks up a large book from her desk, rapidly thumbs to a random page and points without looking]

Sue White:
There. [puts the book down]

Alan Statham:
Alright. Umm... someone has used a marker pen to make some alterations. The badge should read: "Dr. Alan Statham", next line: "Consultant Radiologist", and they have blacked out the letters O N S and L T A.

Sue White:
I see, so that would in fact leave... [writes on a post-it note] A 'C', a 'U', an 'N'...

Alan Statham:
Yes, yes, yes, exactly, yes.

Sue White:
...and an-- oh, I see. So, your badge now reads: "Alan Statham, Cu--"

Alan Statham:
Yes, thank you, that's what it's been changed to.

Sue White:
Again?

Alan Statham:
Yes, again.

Sue White:
Well, alright, I'll see what I can do. It's going to take a couple of weeks to order a new one, though.

Alan Statham:
Well, what--what am I meant to do in the meantime?

Sue White:
Well, I suggest you black-out the bits you don't want!

Alan Statham:
Well, then right, I will.

Sue White:
I'd lose the second line rather than the first.

Alan Statham:
What?

Sue White:
Just trying to help!