Hogan's Heroes, Season 2

Klink:
Repoooort!

Schultz:
Herr Kommandant, all present and accounted for.

Klink:
Good. Now, men, I have a very important announcement to make.

Newkirk:
Hey, they're gonna surrender!

LeBeau:
Good move!

Carter:
Hey, the Krauts are gonna surrender!

Prisoner:
Who told you?

Carter:
I just heard it!

[The prisoners all cheer and applaud.]

Klink:
Colonel Hogan, control your men!

Hogan:
I can't, sir, the news of your surrender is-

Klink:
Who said anything about a surrender?

Hogan:
You did.

Klink:
When?

Hogan:
Just now, you used the word yourself.

Klink:
Only to deny it!

Hogan:
Well, I had to start somewhere.

Klink:
Silence!

Hogan:
Okay, men, the surrender's off!

[The prisoners boo.]

Klink:
Now I've just had word that General Stauffen of the Fuehrer's headquarters will personally visit Stalag 13. I expect every prisoner in this camp to clean up and look neat.

Newkirk:
Can't do it. Somebody stole me mascara brush!