House, Season 1

Dr. House:
[Walking into his office, where Wilson is waiting with another job applicant] Sorry. I was taking a dump.

Dr. Petra Gilmar:
Well I guess I'm better off interviewing right after than right before.

[Dr House and Dr Wilson exchange a surprised glance]

Dr. House:
You Jewish?

Dr. Petra Gilmar:
[Keeping her cool] Yes.

Dr. House:
Is it true what they say about Jewish foreplay?

Dr. Wilson:
[Desperate to change the subject] Uh, uh—

Dr. Petra Gilmar:
Two hours of begging?

Dr. House:
I heard four.

Dr. Petra Gilmar:
Well, actually I'm only half Jewish. [After a significant, impressed pause from House and Wilson] Look, I know you like to play games, push buttons. I have four brothers. Long as you keep your hands to yourself, I'm okay with anything that comes out of your mouth.

[After they shake hands and she escorts herself out]

Dr. Wilson:
That's our Hitler!!

Dr. House:
No. Did you see her shoes?

Dr. Wilson:
Her shoes? What, did your horoscope in Vogue tell you to avoid women wearing green shoes?

Dr. House:
The eyes can mislead, a smile can lie, but the shoes always tell the truth.

Dr. Wilson:
They were Prada, which means she has good taste.

Dr. House:
They were not Prada. You wouldn't know Prada if one stepped on your scrotum.

Dr. Wilson:
Okay, well... they were nice, pointy.