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House, Season 3

House MD (2004–2012), created by David Shore, is about an irreverent, controversial, but successful doctor who trusts no one, least of all his patients. more »

Dr. House:
[in a southern accent] Come on in, brothers and sister! Welcome to the house of the Lord!

Dr. Cameron:
House, come on, the chapel?

Dr. House:
We have been blessed with the miracle of a new symptom. Brother, can you testify as to why this poor child's eyeball rolled back into his head?

Dr. Chase:
It's consistent with jimsonweed poisoning -- ocular paralysis.

[A man sitting in the pew gets up and leaves]

Dr. Chase:
[whispering] I'm sorry.

Dr. House:
The wicked shall deceive ye, because they have turned from the Lord and are idiots. His ocular muscle didn't paralyze. It pirouetted.

Dr. Cameron:
MS…

Dr. House:
It is easier for a wise man to gain access to heaven…

Dr. Cameron:
Can you stop that? Just say not MS!

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Submitted by wikidude on June 03, 2024

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