ICarly, Season 1

Sam:
Come here, Freddie!

Freddie:
Leave me alone, Sam! Sam? What are you gonna--? [Sam pushes Freddie out of the room. He crawls to the other room, while Carly and Sam follow him. He gets up] That was assault!

Carly:
Why are you quitting iCarly?

Sam:
Yeah, why?

Freddie:
Well, 'cause-- 'Cause maybe I don't like the way Sam treats me!

Carly:
Oh, come on.

Freddie:
Yeah, she's always putting me down, and calling me mean names, and every time I get an ice cream cone, she takes it and she licks it! She just licks it all over the place, just to bug me!

Carly:
Great. Now what's the real reason?

Freddie:
Okay. Valerie wants to do a web show, and she asked me to be her tech producer.

Sam:
So you're just gonna ditch iCarly for another web show?

Carly:
That's competing against us?

Freddie:
Valerie's my girlfriend. What am I supposed to do?

Sam:
[bluntly] Dump the chick! How about that?

Freddie:
You know, you guys were the ones who talked me into going out with her in the first place, and now I'm the bad guy?

Sam:
Look, Freddie, you better just--

Carly:
Stop. He's right. He should help his girlfriend.

Freddie:
Thanks. And I wasn't gonna leave you guys with no help. I got you guys a new tech producer. If you want him.

Sam:
Who?

Freddie:
He's really good with the tech stuff.

Sam:
Who?