ICarly, Season 2

Sam:
So, David, what was it like hanging it out with Wade Collins?

David Archuleta:
Oh, you know, he's... okay.

Carly:
You don't like him, do you?

David:
Not really, no.

Sam:
Let it out, David.

David:
Well, he called me a hobknocker. I don't even know what that means.

[Carly whispers the meaning of hobknocker into David's ear]

David:
[disgusted] Oh, gross!

Sam:
And illegal.

Carly:
The important thing is we all agree that Wade Collins is horrible.

Sam:
But just in case you don't believe me, Carly, or David--

Carly:
Please enjoy this little video Freddie put together. Freddie, roll the video.

Freddie:
Happy to, Carly.

Wade Collins:
[in a YouTube Poop-style video] I wanted tuna fish! [knocks the plate of ham sandwich out of Carly's hand, edited to do it three times]

Scene 2

[Wade hocks and spits onto the floor]

Scene 3

Wade Collins:
[screen is flashing all different colors] I've got a pimple in my ear.

Scene 4

Wade Collins:
[Gibby is blow-drying his hair] Too hot-hot-hot!

Gibby:
I'm sorry! [Wade takes the hairdryer, aims it at Gibby, and blows it in his face, causing him to run off]

Scene 5

Wade Collins:
[screen flashes negative] You're a stupid American, Freddie. Stupid American.

Scene 6

[Wade spits again]

Scene 7

[Wade rudely sneezes on Gibby]

Scene 8

Wade Collins:
[walks by several music video-dressed girls] You're all a bunch of stupid American girls, you bunch of hobknockers!

Scene 9

Wade Collins:
[angrily screaming] I DON'T CARE ABOUT MUSIC! I WANT MONEY! [screen turns green, echoing "MONEY!"]

Scene 10

[Wade spits again]

Scene 11

Wade Collins:
[rudely screams at a homeless bystander outside] HOB-HOB-HOBKNOCKER!

Scene 12

Wade Collins:
[eating spaghetti] I have to look beautiful! Jibley!

Scene 13

[Wade growls at the camera]

Scene 14

Wade Collins:
I hate children, I hate teenagers, I hate animals, AND I HATE AMERICA!