ICarly, Season 5

Spencer:
No, She skipped school again?!

Carly:
Yes, 3 days in a row! No one's heard from her, she won't answer her phone or-

[Spencer is still having difficulties getting on the jeans]

Carly:
What's happening here?!

Spencer:
Me getting fat, look! I can barely get these jeans past my butt slabs!

Carly:
Those are my jeans.

Spencer:
Well, I, ugh... [Carly is looking at him with a 'what's your excuse?' face] Yeah I know.

Carly:
I'm really worried about Sam.

Spencer:
So call her mom.

Carly:
I can't! She's in Tijuana having laser hair removal.

Spencer:
From what part of her body?

Carly:
I didn't wanna know! How are we gonna find Sam?

Spencer:
Could you just talk to Freddie 'bout it?

Carly:
No! I will not talk to Freddie about it until he admits to me that they kissed.

Spencer:
These pants are squeezing me in ways you can't understand.

Carly:
Why won't Freddie just tell me that he and Sam kissed-?

[Freddie walks in confused]

Spencer:
These are Carly's pants ok? Mistakes were made.

Freddie:
Maybe you should take them off?

Spencer:
Good call. [turns to Carly] Where's the olive oil?

Carly:
In the bathroom where you left it.

Spencer:
Yep. [makes his way to the bathroom pulling up the pants and making funny noises]

Freddie:
I'm really getting worried about Sam. I mean, it's been three days since-

Carly:
Since you two kissed?

Freddie:
[shocked]

Carly:
Yeah! I know! I saw it with both my eyes! [walks over to her backpack] You guys were talking and... she kissed you and you didn't stop her, why- why didn't you tell me?

Freddie:
Well I- [interrupted by Carly]

Carly:
You should've told me! Do you like her? Is this- is this a new chapter in our lives? What is goin' on?

Freddie:
[trying to change the subject] ...Do you have any fruit?

Carly:
[not falling for it] I don't know! If we do, you can have it! You know why? 'Cause I don't keep things from you!

Freddie:
I didn't tell you cause, even I don't know what it means, she, just, kissed me.

Carly:
So where is she now?

Freddie:
I dunno! I've called her, I've texted- [stops mid sentence and comes up with an idea]

Carly:
What? That's your idea face. What's your idea?!

Freddie:
Come here. [moves towards the computer]

Carly:
What's going on?

Freddie:
You can track the location of a pear phone if you know the user's password. Do you know Sam's password?

Carly:
Yes.

Freddie:
Well good, tell me.

Carly:
I can't say it outloud; it's icky.

Freddie:
[passes Carly the keyboard] Fine I won't look, you type it in. [turns away from the computer screen]

Carly:
K. [types in Sam's password] Ewww.

Freddie:
[turns back around] Okay, let's find her phone. Locating, tracking, annnddd...

Carly:
Where is she?!

Freddie:
I have to click the items.

Carly:
Well do it!

Freddie:
K! Okay, she's...

[Both Freddie and Carly lean away from the computer screen in shock]

Carly:
Troubled Waters Mental Hospital?!

Freddie:
Mental hospital?!

[Gibby walks in through the front door]

Gibby:
Gibbbaaayyy!

[Freddie and Carly turn around to face Gibby]

Gibby:
S'up people?

Carly:
We're going to a mental hospital.

Gibby:
Yes!