ICarly, Season 5

Carly:
Okay wait, is it straight?

Freddie:
Ummm, I think my side needs to be a little higher.

Carly:
[looks at Sam] Sam.

[Sam looks at Carly with a worried look on her face]

Carly:
What are you doing with that balloon?

Sam:
Taping the string to Freddie's phone.

Freddie:
My.... [rummages around for his phone in a slight panic] Get your hands off my phone!

Sam:
No prob. [lets go of the balloon]

Freddie:
Ohh noo.

Carly:
Saaamm.

Freddie:
You get my phone down from there right now!

[Sam pulls out her mini paintball gun]

Freddie:
No no wait, I want you t-

[Sam bursts the balloon and Freddie's phone smashes on the table]

Freddie:
Not sure the warranty covers that.

[Gibby walks in]

Gibby:
Gibbay! Woah, you guys getting ready for a party?

Sam:
Yep.

Freddie:
Carly's dad's coming home for a few days.

Carly:
And it's the first time in 3 years that I get to spend his birthday with him.

Gibby:
Sooo, Spencer's not your dad?

Carly:
No!

[Sam whacks Gibby in the butt with a paintball]

Gibby:
Oww!

Sam:
You deserved that.

Gibby:
Great. Now when I sit I'm gonna have to put all my weight on my left buttock.

[Spencer runs out]

Spencer:
Okay! Okay, tell me what you guys think, huh? [makes funny noises while doing a weird jog on the spot, He is wearing a suit]

Sam:
What?!

Freddie:
You got a job interview?

Spencer:
Ew, no, gross.

Carly:
He never told our dad that he dropped out of law school so now he wants to pretend he graduated and that he's a lawyer in a big law firm.

Spencer:
[fake laughs] I gotta. You want dad to come home and be disappointed in me?

Carly:
He's been disappointed in you since you were 9!

Freddie:
Is that when Spencer set that ice-cream truck on fire?

Carly:
Yes.

Spencer:
It was an accident!

Carly:
Accident or not, it put Mr. Creamsteam out of business!

[Gibby lifts up a lid of a box revealing a cake]

Gibby:
Woah ho ho, what's this?

Carly:
Don't touch it.

Sam:
That's her dad's birthday cake.

Carly:
Yeah, it's an exact replica of a airforce, F22, fighter jet.

Spencer:
Aha! Which I have specially rigged with automatic, self-lighting candles.

Carly:
Spencer- [tries to grab the remote off of him]

Spencer:
Don' touch me, your dirty. [everyone looks round all confused] When we show dad the cake he say "Well, why aren't the candles lit?" and then Carly will say "Well what do you mean the candles aren't lit?" and then I'll press this button, and-

[The cake explodes everywhere and all over everybody]

Carly:
I'll order another cake.