It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4

Frank:
I can't believe they're dead.

Dennis:
I can't believe they didn't include me in their suicide pact.

Dee:
What, are you crazy? They're not dead! They're definitely doing something stupid, but they're not dead.

Dennis:
You saw the tape, Dee! My best friends went out in a blaze of glory, and they didn't even ask me to be part of it! This is terrible!

Dee:
Are you buying this? That is ridiculous. Dennis, they left us a list of demands!

Frank:
What are you talking about? That's their last will and testament, that is not demands!

Dee:
It says at the top, "List of Demands"!

Frank:
Well, whatever. It's their wishes, and we have to honor them.

Dee:
Oh we do? We have to honor them? Okay, let's see, Frank. Charlie's number one: "My ashes are to be made into a tea and to be drinken by every-wan in bar."

Frank:
Done!

Dennis:
Ugh, dammit, gross. Fine, what else?

Dee:
Mac's number one: "In lieu of a body - which was most likely blown up in the most awesome way imaginable - I would like the duster to be burned, and its ashes buried in an unmarked grave somewhere by the river."

Dennis:
Okay, well that's crazy. I'm not gonna burn or bury the duster.

Dee:
Oh, yeah, we also both have to name our firstborn child Murphy, because that was RoboCop's name.

Dennis:
Goddammit! Mac is dead, and he's still bossing me around!

Dee:
Mac is not dead, Dennis.

Frank:
How can you be so cold?

Dee:
HE BLEW UP MY CAR!

Dennis:
Not burning the duster...

Dee:
YOU'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT A COAT!?

Dennis:
ABSOLUTELY!