Jeeves and Wooster, Season 2

Stiffy's dog attacks a police constable, who falls off his bike into a pond

Stiffy Byng:
[to the constable] What on earth did you do that for? You might've scared him out of his wits, hurling yourself about like that. [addressing the dog] Poor old Bartholomew!

PC Oates:
We must caution you, Miss Stephanie!

Stiffy:
[talking to dog] Did the ugly man nearly squash him flat?

Oates:
I was proceeding along a public highway when the dog leaped at me in a violent manner. I was hurled from my bicycle —

Stiffy:
Well you shouldn't ride a bicycle. Bartholomew hates bicycles.

PC Oates:
I ride a bicycle, Miss, because if I didn't, I would have to cover my beat on foot!

Stiffy:
Do you good! Get some of the fat off you.

[Bertie, in the background, hits his face with his palm]

PC Oates:
I will have to summons you once more, miss, for being in possession of a savage dog whilst not under proper control.

Stiffy:
Don't be an ass, Oates. You can't expect a dog to pass up a policeman on a bicycle! It isn't human nature.