Jeeves and Wooster, Season 2

Aunt Agatha:
[to the police officer] And stand up straight! Is that the way they teach you to stand at the police force nowadays?

Bertie Wooster:
Is there anything I can do, Aunt Agatha?

Aunt Agatha:
Yes, there is. You can leave. I have enough to bear without your imbecilities. [to the officer] Your chief constable should hear of this. What is your name?

Bertie Wooster:
I think there's something the matter with that girl, Auntie. Isn't she crying or something?

Aunt Agatha:
Remorse! She stole my pearls! [to the officer] Do you refuse to give me your name?

Bertie Wooster:
Pearls? Well, that's a coincidence. These aren't the little chaps, are they? [holding them up]

Aunt Agatha:
Oh, no, of course not — [catching sight of them] Wh-where did—?

Bertie Wooster:
I got them from your friends the Hemmingways.

Aunt Agatha:
The Hemmingways? The Hemmingways?! Well, how did they come into the possession of the Hemmingways?

Bertie Wooster:
Because they jolly well stole them, that's how! That's what they do for a living! They are jewel thieves!

Aunt Agatha:
No, no, no, no, no, no—

Bertie Wooster:
Yes, yes, aged A! I mean, I don't want to rub it in, but you do realize that if you had succeeded in getting me to marry that girl, then I should most probably have had children who'd have sneaked my watch while I was dandling them on my knee!

Aunt Agatha:
Oh, Bertie, dear, you—

Bertie Wooster:
Now I'm not a complaining sort of chap, as a rule, but I must say that in future, you might be just a little bit more careful how you go about egging me on to marry females! [hands her the pearls and walks out, then does a dance in the hall]