Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman

Tom:
I'm probably one of the few grown men in this whole town who's never so much as had a puff on one of these things. Can you imagine that? And here I am, a grown man.

Mary:
You mean you wanna try it?

Tom:
No, no, no. What I was thinkin' is this: Now marijuana is a problem that every parent in America has to deal with, right?

Mary:
Right.

Tom:
OK. But how can we deal with it if we don't know what the hell it is?

Mary:
It's a joint.

Tom:
I know it's a joint, but I don't know what it does. I've never had any experience with it.

Mary:
You mean you wanna try it for scientific purposes?

Tom:
Well, for parental purposes, so when we discuss this thing with Heather, we know what we're talkin' about.

Mary:
I don't know, Tom. I don't know if it's a good idea for us to smoke this thing at all—I mean, even for parental purposes. I don't think we should smoke it, I really don't.

Tom:
Have you got a match?

Mary:
Yeah, here.