Parks and Recreation, Season 3

Leslie:
Okay you need to be strong, powerful, decisive. This is not a meeting, it's a battle. Normal meeting rules do not apply. I'll be my mom and I'm gonna be very harsh with you and it's only because I like you a lot.

Ben:
Okay.

Leslie:
Go!

Ben:
Hello-

Leslie:
Wrong.

Ben:
What?

Leslie:
No preambles. No introductions. Just walk in and start talking.

Ben:
...Id like to discuss the school bus-

Leslie:
I'd like to discuss your rhyming, Dr. Seuss. And you should be sitting by now.

Ben:
What?

Leslie:
Just walk in and take a seat.

Ben:
Um...

Leslie:
"Um" is the sound in "dumb." That's what she says to people. And now you've crossed your legs like a woman.

Ben:
God! Okay should we just start over?

Leslie:
No, we need to put a pin in this. Here is a list of my mother's top 10 conversation topics starting with Persian rugs, ending with Daniel Craig. You have 10 minutes to memorize it.

Ben:
"Deliverance," the movie?

Leslie:
Mmmhmmm.

Ben:
Oh God.