Parks and Recreation, Season 4

[Leslie is very drunk on Swanson liquor]

Leslie:
Everybody pants now! Pants! Pants! Pants! Pants! Pants!

Ron:
She's had enough. Call it off.

Tammy One:
That's not how it works. She's out.

April:
Wait, I'm subbing in.

Ron:
April, no. That stuff will melt the shell off a garden snail.

April:
Whatever. I'm Puerto Rican, I can handle it. [April takes a swig of the liquor, but spits it out in disgust] FUCK! OH MY GOD!

Ron:
Okay! This ends now! [Ron chugs the entire jug of liquor to everyone's amazement in 15 seconds] Mom, you're going back to the farm. And you. [To Tammy One] You're going back to Hell.

Tammy One:
Fine. I got what I came for anyway. I found your underground safe. I stole half your gold.

Ron:
That's decoy gold! Do you think I'd leave my gold in a locked safe buried underground where anyone could find it? You don't know me at all.

Tammy One:
Yes I do. I knew you the minute you were born, I intend to be there the minute you die.

[Tammy One walks out]

Leslie:
Ron...your family's weird...