Pee-wee's Playhouse, Season 1
Pee-wee:
Randy, did you steal Mrs. Steve's apples?
Randy:
No. I didn't steal 'em.
Mrs. Steve:
You did so. I saw you with my own two eyes.
Randy:
Did not.
Mrs. Steve:
Did so.
Randy:
Did not.
Mrs. Steve:
Did so.
Randy:
Did not.
Mrs. Steve:
Did so!
[Pee-wee screams to silence them]
Pee-wee:
[extracts apple cores from beneath the bed] Randy, if you didn't steal Mrs. Steve's apples, then what are these?!
Randy:
I didn't steal 'em. I just sorta took 'em. Besides, what's the big deal? They were just some crummy crabapples.
Pee-wee:
Those "crummy crabapples" belonged to Mrs. Steve. You shouldn't steal stuff that doesn't belong to you.
Mrs. Steve:
That's right! I demand an apology from you, young man.
Randy:
Eh...
Pee-wee:
Go on, Randy. Say you're sorry.
Randy:
All right. I'm sorry.
Mrs. Steve:
Sorry isn't going to put those apples back on my tree. I want you to promise me you'll never do that again.
Randy:
I promise, Mrs. Steve. I had no idea that taking your delicious apples was going to upset you so. I'm awfully sorry. Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me? Please?
Mrs. Steve:
Well, I suppose I can forgive you this one time. But if it ever happens again, I'm calling the police, and you go to prison with all the other apple stealers. [casually] Thank you, Pee-wee. [exits]
Randy:
[snickers] I had my fingers crossed.
Submitted by wikidude on June 03, 2024
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