Peep Show, Series 3

Mark:
[knocking on the locked bedroom door] Open up! Open up, you bloody asshole!

Jez:
Mark, I'm sorry, but can you please keep down the banging?

Mark:
You bloody - I can't believe you!

Jez:
Look, please, be quiet, okay?

Mark:
[shaking the door handle] Let me out! Let me out I need a poo!

Jez:
[slips a takeaway bag under the door] Do your business in there if you have to. God, you're disgusting.

Mark:
(Oh God. Can I do this? If I do this, even if I end up marrying Sophie and we live in a detached house in Surrey and we buy a holiday home in Umbria, our children will always look up at the face of a man who once crapped in a takeaway bag. Plus... I'd have to hide it here, somewhere in my room next to one of my things. I could throw it out the window. No, that's what they want you to do. That's where society's headed. People shitting in bags and throwing it out the window at each other. Well, I'm not going to be the first. Not in my name!)