Peep Show, Series 5

[after Dobby asks Mark to reach something high inside a closet room]

Mark:
Erm...you'll, you'll have to...move.

Dobby:
Yeah, I should move, but...I might not move. [begins to rub her bottom against Mark's crotch]

Mark:
(Is she shifting her bum against my area?) Are you sure you don't wanna get out of the way?

Dobby:
I'm alright.

Mark:
(What if someone comes in? Should step away. Step away from the bum. Bit impolite to step away, I don't want to step away.)

Dobby:
I got some feta today.

Mark:
Oh, feta? That's a sheep's cheese isn't it?

Dobby:
I don't know.

Mark:
Yeah, I believe so. (This is possibly the most exciting thing that has happended to anyone ever. Does she know what she's doing? Is she just innocently waggling her bum around and I'm getting illegal benefit? I'm not doing a sexual assault am I? You can't do a sexual assault if you stay still like a statue. I'm just a statue, a dirty, filthy statue. Oh God, I'm getting very... Captain Corrigan if flying without a licence! Oh Jesus, it's too much, I'm going to blow my beans! I'm going to do a Chesil Beach! Don't let her know!) A-ah...!

Dobby:
Are you okay?

Mark:
I'm fine, but sorry, I should be going 'cause you know, the world turns on its axis, one man works while another relaxes. Ah, Post-its.