Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, Series Four

Gordon:
(narration) Let’s see what this ex-trucker can do. [At the entrance, reading the menu] An eating experience you must try. Steaks, local produce, chicken dishes, duck, lamb shanks. Oh, lovely. All food is freshly cooked. Fuck me. [Enters the restaurant] Hello.

Michelle:
Hello. Michelle. Pleasure to meet you.

Gordon:
Michelle, nice to see you. Your blouse matches the wallpaper. I feel like I'm tripping out. Never touched the stuff, but I feel like I've just swallowed an E. Holy crap. (Narration) Compared to the hideous wallpaper, the menu is very attractive. Simple, freshly cooked food. On paper, it looks delicious.

Mick:
(In the kitchen) Orange squash, spoonful of gravy. Rich and meaty, it's called, yeah. A lot of them say it’s the best they've had. So it can’t be that bad, can it?

Gordon:
(Narration) First up: Mick’s house special, duck with orange sauce. (In the dining room) Yikes. Ooh-la-la.

Michelle:
There's your potatoes. I’ll just get the vegetables for you.

Gordon:
Jesus Christ. Fuck me, do I need sunglasses? What is that sauce?

Michelle:
That thing? Maybe it’s the orange squash he uses.

Gordon:
(Narration) Did she really say, "orange squash"? (Back in the dining room) It looks like someone has dropped a fucking lemon tart on my plate. [Samples the duck.]

Michelle:
It gives it colour.

Gordon:
[Spits the duck out] Fuck me. Worse than fucking Benylin.