Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, Series Three

[Gordon visits the kitchen]

Sandy:
Hello, everyone. Here's Gordon, come to meet you.

Gordon:
Hello. (To Emma) Emma, how are you?

Emma:
Nice to meet you. I'm fine.

Gordon:
Good to see you. And you're the...

Emma:
Chef de partie, desserts, and sauces.

Gordon:
(to Phil) And this is?

Phil:
Phil. Head chef.

Gordon:
Phil, chef de cuisine.

Phil:
Yeah. Well - I beg to differ, but yeah, yeah yeah, oh, yeah.

Gordon:
Okay. Anyway, it started off good. I arrived, and I thought it was actually quite a stunning, intimate little place. Then the food arrived. [Phil tries not to laugh] Solid rock-hard prawns... you dig deep and you come across the mashed potatoes, got laced with fucking apricots, tomatoes, and a...redcurrant jus?

Phil:
No, it's a red wine syrup.

Laura:
Red wine syrup.

Gordon:
What the fuck were you thinking about putting apricots inside mashed potatoes?

Phil:
You know what? I actually took the recipe from the Good Food magazine.

Gordon:
The Good Food magazine? That's a bullshit answer! What were you thinking about, putting them together?

Phil:
Well, why not? It's different.

Gordon:
You've got every right to be slightly fucked off about it, because I would be if I cooked that shit. And here we are in our current situation, on our arse - and the chef over there wants to fucking laugh about it.

Phil:
What the fuck do you want me to do about it? You're standing there, fucking just mouthing me off? What do you mean?

Gordon:
Fuck that. You've just shown me over the last three minutes that your attitude stinks.

Phil:
It doesn't at all.

Gordon:
And you can't take criticism.

Phil:
I can take criticism! It - there's ways and means to go about and put criticism across. It's the way you speak! You speak arrogantly!

Gordon:
How would you like to be spoken to?

Phil:
Just like a normal person! Like anyone would speak to anyone!

Gordon:
Uh-huh. Now, let's go the other way, shall we? (To the Morgans, in a gentle manner) Please be so kind to remove the apricot from the mashed potato.

Phil:
See, now you're being a fucking sarcastic -

Gordon:
No, but, I don't know how - I mean... We've got a problem here, yeah? And there's a fucking issue with the food. Now, fucking Mr Chipmunk in the fucking corner's pissed off at the fact that I'm telling him something constructive.

Phil:
See? You're -

Gordon:
If I can't get over that hurdle, I may as well fuck off back on the train now.

Phil:
There's no need for personal fucking attacks!

Gordon:
(To Phil) Do you understand? (To the Morgans) Have a word with the chef, yes? And if he's going to fucking -

Phil:
Excuse me? I'm standing here, yeah? If you want to talk to me, talk to me!

Gordon:
(To the Morgans) I'm sorry. (To Phil) I'm talking to the owners.

Phil:
Don't start to talk to me like a fucking kid!

Gordon:
Fuck me!

Emma:
Did you like anything about the three courses?

Gordon:
There was one saving grace. Yeah, there was! The sticky toffee pudding was fucking delicious!

Emma:
No! (Laughs);;

Sandy:
Thank you, Gordon!

Gordon:
I'd wish it was my fucking starter!

Phil:
You fucking fat twat! Fuck's sake! [Walks to the bin and disposes of a leftover]

Sandy:
That's the nitty-gritty over with, anyway.

Phil:
[Blocks the camera with his hand] That's enough, cameraman. I'd rather the camera not be on me.

Gordon:
(Outside the restaurant) Shit dinner. Beautiful restaurant inside. Great potential. Then trying to fucking tell the chef some form of constructive criticism. He's got a problem - not just with his food, but with his fucking gob.