Red vs. Blue, Season 3

Sarge:
OK, listen up dirtbags. If we’re gonna invade this fortress, we need a good game plan. I’ve got two options we can use. Number one, we all run straight at the base in a single file line, screaming at the top of our lungs. [scene goes black and white and shows everyone running in slow motion toward windmill while yelling]. The enemy will be so flabbergasted, by the time they have a chance to regroup, we’ll already be inside.

Tucker:
Oh yeah, right, they’re not gonna get surprised, they’re just gonna start mowing us down.

Sarge:
That’s the inherent beauty of the single file line. They can only kill the person in front, [scene goes black and white and shows them all in a line being shot with a sniper rifle], so if we order from least important to most important, with Tucker being in the front and me being in the back, then we just might make it through.

Simmons:
Don’t you think Caboose should be in the back since he’s the one carrying the bomb?

Sarge:
Nope, Caboose is in front of me. We need someone in the back who can objectively evaluate how the plan is working.

Tucker:
How are you going to know if it’s not working?

Sarge:
If Caboose dies, I’ll know we’re in trouble and immediately abort.

Caboose:
I think that’s a good plan.

Grif:
Sarge, while that’s the most retarded idea I’ve ever heard, I just wanted to thank you for not putting me in front of the line.

Sarge:
Don’t get misty, Francine. We’ll have already killed you and used your corpse to jam up the windmill.

[shows windmill rotating upward with Grif’s body on it]

Grif:
Blaaargh!.

Sarge:
I think we can all agree given our current situation it’s the perfect plan.

[everyone stares at him silently]

Sarge:
Well let me tell you about my other plan, using parts from the warthog we create something I like to call ... the Grif Cannon. Utilizing the power of the Grif Cannon, we make a Grif sized hole in the outer wall, or paint it a very disgusting color.