Red vs. Blue, Season 5

Church:
And this is Tucker.

Tucker:
Sup.

Sister:
Hey.

Church:
Tucker's job is to do... what... I guess nothing.

Tucker:
I'm just chillin'. That's the only rule on blue team, rookie. Be cool.

Sister:
I thought the only rule was don't kill the leader?

Tucker:
Yeah, but we break that rule all the time. That's what makes us so cool.

Sister:
Awesome. On the red team, they break that rule-

Alien Baby:
Blarg.

Sister:
Oh cool! You have a dog?

Tucker:
Uh, that's not a dog. That's my kid.

Sister:
Oh, cool! You have a kid that looks like a dog?

Church:
Nice save. Hey, you know what? I think I have the perfect tour guide for you. Hey Caboose! Come here!

Sister:
I thought about having a kid once.

Tucker:
Oh, really? It's a lot of work.

Sister:
Yeah, it seems like it would be hard. But I thought, you know, who wants to be known as the girl who's had seven abortions?

Tucker:
Heh, yeah... Wait, what?

Church:
Alright, this is Caboose. He can tell you everything you possibly need to know about blue base.

Caboose:
[whispering] Is she a mean girl, or a regular girl?

Church:
Caboose, what did I tell you?

Caboose:
That there are no regular girls.

Church:
Exactly. Alright just stick with him, ask him any questions you have, and don't bother me or tucker.

Caboose:
What do I tell her?

Sister:
Well, I already know the rule.

Caboose:
I hate that stupid rule!

Tucker:
Go show her Doc and Sheila.

Caboose:
The purple one is Doc, and the big one is Sheila.

Church:
You know, I was really wishing that would take longer. And further away.

Sister:
Who's the black one?

Church:
The black one?

Sister:
Yeah, the one in the black armor! The one standing right behind you guys.

Caboose:
The black one! Yeah. [pause] Wait, what?