Red vs. Blue, Season 5

Sarge:
Simmons, Donut, you two stay here. Grif's going to continue to help look for Andy.

Grif:
Fine. (sigh) I hate my job.

Donut:
Look, there's my room! And the locker room! And there's the showers! Man, so many good memories.

Simmons:
I hope this thing isn't connected to the Internet.

Sarge:
Ah... The Blues must have set this up! Crafty devils! Spying on us all along. What's all that?

Simmons:
Looks like the blue base!

Sarge:
Why would the Blues spy on themselves?

Simmons:
Maybe the Blues didn't set this up. Someone else might have.

Sarge:
Or maybe the Blues are so incredibly arrogant, they just want to see themselves on TV. Or I bet they have those stupid liberal legal time laws. Blue commie bastards.

Simmons:
What if all this technology is just left over from an ancient civilization that was way more advanced than us?

Donut:
Wait a minute. How could an ANCIENT civilization be MORE advanced? If they were so advanced, where did they go?

Simmons:
They could have mysteriosly disappeared! Only leaving behind a legacy of enigmatic technology...

Donut:
(turning to Simmons) That's gay!

Simmons:
Let's finish this fight later.

Sarge:
Look! What's that?

Simmons:
(surprised) That looks like Sister's armour!

Donut:
Oh no! What happened to her?

Sarge:
Clearly she's been disintegrated!

Donut:
Why would they do that?

Simmons:
We can't tell Grif! He`s going to be devastated!

Grif:
(bored) Tell me what?

Sarge:
Tell you that your Sister's been vaporised by the Blues.

Grif:
(shocked) What!?

Simmons:
Sarge!!

Sarge:
(laughing) It`s like ripping off a bandage, Quick and incredibly painful.

Simmons:
We just talked about this! I thought we agreed not to tell him!

Grif:
(mournfully) What?

Donut:
You really need to start thinking about other people's feelings, Sarge!

Sarge:
Son, the only thing I need to do is stay red and die!

Simmons:
I'm really sorry, Grif. She's dead.

Grif:
(sad) How could this have happened? Oh man... That was my little sister. I mean, I know we don't always see eye to eye, but I still loved her!

Simmons:
This has to be hard, Grif! I... don't know what to say.

Grif:
I just.... I had no idea the last time I saw her was gonna be the last time ever! I'd give anything to see her again and just talk to her one last time. But I'm never gonna get that chance. It's the most empty feeling in the whole world.

Donut:
Oh, hey, look!! She's not dead! She's just naked!

Grif:
(angry) What? That little slut! I'm gonna kill her!

Simmons:
Take a screenshot, take a screenshot!