Reno 911!, Season 5 Quotes

(The whole group is in the conference room except Dangle.)

Jones:
Who's your guys' best friend in the world?

Garcia:
Santa Claus?

Junior:
Yeah, that's what I was gonna say, Santa Claus.

Jones:
Nope. Jones is your best friend, 'cause guess who's got tickets to the game!

{Everyone cheers}

Jones:
We're going to University of Reno!

Williams:
To Jonesy! (everyone holds up their coffee mugs in a toast)

(Dangle enters skipping)

Dangle:
Hello, gang!

Williams:
Good morning!

Dangle:
Good morning indeed, very good morning indeed!

Williams:
Yes it is, yes it is.

Dangle:
I've been promoted!

All:
(unenthusiastically) What?

Williams:
Really?

Dangle:
I'm going up to Carson City. (everyone cheers) Going to Carson City: Nevada State Police Director of Public Relations, Jim Dangle!

(Everyone claps)

Dangle:
I'm goin', girl! And I made some reservations for Friday night, at Dan Swanky's, and thought maybe we could have a farewell dinner at Dan Swanky's at eight. I look forward to seeing you there and I'm going to miss you a whole lot of missing you all!

(Everyone grimaces:
the get-together is the same night as the game.)

Johnson:
...I think Saturday is a great day for Dan Swanky's.

Jones:
Yeah, I agree.

Dangle:
What part about my reservation at Dan Swanky's didn't I make clear? I mean, I made a reservation at eight on Friday.

Jones:
Sir, I, uh, I got us all tickets to the Lady Wolfpack, there's a final conference game and, well, this doesn't happen very often... sir.

Dangle:
It's mandatory. It's mandatory. How's that?

Jones:
Sir, I, uh, it's just...

Dangle:
Are we talking about the Lady Wolfpack still?

Jones:
I just...

Junior:
Could we for a second?

Dangle:
Hey, you know what's flying in? (makes helicopter sound) Oh. A period. To your fucking sentence about the Lady Wolfpack, just arrived.